Monday, June 27, 2016
This is the picture that sums up June. It kind of sums up the last eighteen years, as well.
This is the family. We were a threesome for ten years, and then Zachary got a sister. Ten months later, Zachary and Regan got a brother. Six years later, Zachary, Regan and Lucas got a sister. David and I ended our three decades of "becoming" parents in 2004, but our run as "being" parents will never end. You are looking at the fruits of my actual labor, and all of the labor that David has done on our behalf from the day each of these people were born.
It is uncharted territory, this parenting of grown-ups. We have done our best to remain supportive and interested without being pushy or overbearing with the souls entrusted to our care, but we have failed, miserably, at times. In some cases, the work is just beginning.
This month has flown by as we celebrated Lucas graduation from Hillcrest High School. He was honored with a diploma from the Fine Arts Center in the Creative Writing Discipline, as well. He worked hard and finished with stellar grades. I am exceedingly proud, because I know that he really didn't care for the rigors of High School, nor was he a fan of the social confines of the institution. Lucas is a solitary man. He exceeded our expectations for the final year of school, and didn't surprise us with his decision not to proceed to higher education at this time. His adventure awaits.
The Graduation Celebration consisted of a real party with guests that joined from New York, as well as our local friends. My Dad and Gail attended, as well as Joseph (if you know me, he needs no further introduction) and Lucas' "Fairy Godmother" made a surprise appearance, and that was the best gift Lucas received. The end of the month brought a visit from Uncle Steve, (Lucas' Godfather) and Sophia Grace, Uncle Steve's youngest daughter. Many of Lucas' favorite people were in attendance, and those that couldn't be here, were in our thoughts. In many cases, time has marched on and diminished our circle for reasons of distance, either physical, emotional, philosophical or because of death. That is the true assessment of how things really go. We lose people, and we gain people. We let people in, and we let them out. The trick, as I like to say, is knowing when the time is right for all of it.
So I share the picture.
This is one of those photos that captures a moment that was hard earned, and truly appreciated.
I share it because, I know what is not guaranteed, and that is another photo like this. The original family, all at once, smiling, together, in the moment.
I take too much for granted, and I have begun to recognize that flaw.
I am starting with this photo as a reminder to stop that, and to appreciate each opportunity to share the joys of life with these five people and the extraordinary (absent) daughter-in-law, and granddaughters that make up this family that is the result of a really smart decision I made in 1983, by telling David "if you're going to ask me out, you better hurry"...
What happened to that girl? Just look at the photo and you'll see.
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